Category: Sex Related: Page 3
We all like those naughty sex jokes! So anyhow, we have been slowly building this collection of sex jokes, and here are a few to get you laughing!
sex jokes that are about sex and dirty joke
One day, Jimmy is walking home from school. When he gets home, he finds his grandpa sitting on the Porch without any pants on!
So he goes up to his grandpa and says "Grandpa, do you realize that you're not wearing any pants?" His grandpa replies "Yes Jimmy, I do."
Jimmy then says "Well, why are you outside without any pants on Grandpa?"
His grandpa looks at Jimmy and responds "Well Jimmy, yesterday I sat outside without a shirt to long, and I got a stiff neck. This was your grandma's idea."
The very snobbish wife was discussing the subject of Christmas presents with her maid. "Now what about the butler?" the rich woman said. "A set of wine glasses?" the maid suggested. The woman frowned icily. "He doesn't really need that. A butler never entertains. He'll get a tie." The maid grimaced, but said only, "What about a dress for Jenny, the serving girl?" The woman frowned again. "She doesn't really need a new dress. She'll only get in trouble. We'll get her another apron." The conversation continued in the same vein, and the maid was chafing at her employer's arrogance when they reached her husband. "I assume you want to get him something he really needs, madam?" the maid replied. "Of course," the woman replied. "Then what about five more inches?"
Kathy and Suzy are having a conversation during there lunch break.
Kathy asks, "So, Suzy, how's your sex life these days?"
Suzy replies, "Oh, you know. It's the usual, Social Security kind."
"Social Security?" Kathy asked quizzically.
"Yeah, you get a little each month, but it's not enough to live on."
A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go at it.
When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences to repeat the performance.
The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and starts again.
The hooker is amazed as this sequence is repeated four times. During the fifth encore, she decides to try it herself.
So when they are done she jumps up, goes to the window and takes a deep breath of fresh air, dives under the bed... and finds four Chinese men.
A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 AM.
Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. She sleepily sat up and said, "Mike, dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I've got a splitting headache."
"Certainly, honey," he said, and feeling his way across the room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store.
As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise, "Say," said the druggist, "aren't you Officer Fenwick of the 8th District?"
"Yes, I am," said the officer.
"Well, then, what in the world are you doing in the Fire Chief's uniform?"
A man and a woman were waiting in line at the hospital donation center.
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it."
Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."
The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the same line.
Man: "Hi there! Here to donate blood again?"
Woman: (nodding her head with mouth closed) "Unh unh."
this man walk in to a doctors office and says "can u give me a sex pill" the doctor gives him vigra then the next day he goes back and the doctor gives him 2 pills , the third day he goes back and the doctor gives him 3 pills , 3 days later the man goes back and the doctor gives him one whole bottle ,the next day the son goes to that doctor and says " wat did u give my dad , my mom is dead , my sister is pregnaut and my asshole hurts now he is sayin hear kitty kitty .
a man wanted some cat one day so he go his dog out and put in the cat and his wife started moaning and she said Jody stop Jody stop you hurting me so i lick that cat
there once was a man who wanted to go fishing his girl friend didnt want to go so he said go wuth me suck my dick or get it in the ass she said ill suck ur dick he pulled down his pants and had shit on his dick she said eww whats that he said the dog didnt want to go either
one day there was a girl and a old man the old man was naked holding a news paper and the girls walks over to him and says whats under the news paper and he says a birdy so she says can i play with it and he says no so she says fine and walks away and then about 5 miniutes later he falls asleep and later wakes up in the hospital and the doctor asks do you know what happened and he says no. and then the little girl comes over and says i do and the doctor says what? and she says well he said there was a birdy under the newspaper and i asked if i could play with it and he said no so i waited till he was asleep, then i started to play with it and he spit on me so i broke its neck, cracked its eggs,and put it of fire.
