John, a son of Blarney, met regularly with his toastmasters club. One evening they're hitting the Guinness pretty good and lay bets as to who can give the best toast.
John hoists his beer glass: "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me lovin' wife!"
That wins him top honors. He goes home and tells his wife Mary: "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."
She says: "Really, and what was your toast?"
John recites: "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh that is very nice indeed, John," Mary says.
The next day Mary runs into one of John's buddies on the street. With a chuckle, the man leers: "John won last night's prize with a toast about you Mary."
"Yes," she says. "And I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
