Category: Kids Jokes: Page 6
Kids jokes have a shortness and simpleness about them that allow an individual at virtually any age to get a good laugh.
Kids jokes, animal jokes for kids, knock knock jokes, scary jokes, and more..
There was a little boy playing in his front yard, and his grandpa was sitting on the porch watching his grandson play.
The grandfather saw the little boy pull a worm out of the ground, so the grandfather went up to his grandson and said, "Hey son, I'll give you five dollars if you can stick that worm back into the hole you pulled it out of."
The little boy thought it would be easy enough, so he tried. After awhile, the boy was about to give up, but suddenly he ran inside and got a can of his grandmother's hair spray. He sprayed it all over the worm and let it dry and then he stuck it back into the hole.
The grandpa said, "Well, boy that's a neat trick, here's your five dollars."
The next day, the little boy was playing again, and the grandfather came up to him and handed him another five dollars. The little boy said, "What is this for?"
The grandfather said, "Your grandmother thought it was a neat trick too!"
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out, and in and out, and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"
One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude "the moral of that story..."
The next day Billy tells his story.
"My dad fought in the Vietnam war, his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more, but the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands!"
The teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story.
Billy replies, "Yeah, don't mess with my dad when he's been drinking".
Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store.
"Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked.
"Yeah, my mom has one," the other replied.
"What's it for?"
"I don't know," the second boy answered. "But every time she stands on it she gets really pissed."
Charlie Brown and the little redheaded girl learn about teen pregnancy in - I'm Starting to Show, Charlie Brown
We learn about VD in - It Burns When I pee, Charlie Brown
See how the Peanuts deal with date rape in - No Means No, Charlie Brown
What goes on in the mind of a serial killer? Discover the inner workings of Pig Pen's twisted psyche and meet his alter ego "Mr. Clean" in - God Told Me to Do It, Charlie Brown
Charlie Brown steals social security checks and strips cars for crack money in - Go Blame Society, Charlie Brown
Schroder teaches the Peanuts about getting high in - Roll Us a Fat One, Charlie Brown
Charlie Brown gets his first job in - Would You Like Fries with That, Charlie Brown?
The little farm boy storms out of the house, mad about being ordered to do his chores. In the barnyard, he kicks the rooster. Near the barn, he kicked a hog. In the corral, he kicked the family’s milk cow. His mother saw all this and stormed out after him.
"I saw you kick that rooster; just for that, you’ll get no eggs. And I saw you kick that hog; just for that, you’ll get no bacon. And I saw you kick the cow; just for that, you’ll get no milk!"
His father heard the yelling, came out of the barn, tripping over the cat and nearly falling, after which, he booted the poor animal out of his way. The cat ran screeching into the barn.
The little boy looked up at his mother and said, "You want to tell him or shall I?"
Little Johnny's class is on a field trip to the farm.
The teacher asks, "Can anyone tell the class what that is?"
Mary replies, "That is a sheep, it has wool."
The teacher said, "Very good, Mary. Now who knows what that is?"
Freddie answered, "That's a cow. It gives milk."
This repeats for all the animals and most of the implements of the farm. Finally the teacher points at an object on the barn roof and asks, "and who knows what that is?"
Little Johnny says, "That's a weathercock. It tells the wind direction."
The teacher replied, "And why is it called a weathercock?"
Little Johnny said, "Cause if it was a weathercunt, the wind would blow through it and nobody'd know shit."
